School holiday anxiety: Strategies from a psychologist

As the holidays are fast approaching, there is one concern that I often hear from families that catches them by surprise – their child showing signs of anxiety during the holidays.

Holidays for many children can be anxiety provoking, particularly the longer summer break. Yep, you read that correctly. In a time when we imagine peacefully sleeping in and resting up, hanging out with friends and enjoying a summer ice cream, many children feel withdrawn, anxious and discombobulated (it’s a great word, isn’t it?).

So why is this? Well, school and the associated after school activities give a significant source of structure. There is a clear plan, a set of expectations and a schedule. There is clarity and predictability.

During school holidays, we swap out a lot of these structured activities and replace them with ‘holiday vibes’. We tend to have irregular sleep patterns, eat out more often, have more social events, go away on holidays or day visits and the like. Parents work different hours, sports/art class/music classes are on hold, and the daily routines are gone. So many changes!

Essentially, we often throw our routines up in the air and try to ‘go with the flow’. Which for some people is completely fine and even really enjoyed. For others, it creates uncertainty and anxiety.

What do you see when this happens? It can present differently for different children and teens. You may see withdrawal, anger outbursts, high levels of frustration, anxious fiddling, refusal to leave the home/room, reluctance to see friends or family, less joy and less laughter.

So, as parents, what can you do to support your more anxious child or teen if they are feeling the stress of unpredictability in the holidays?

Use a planner of some sort to write down major transitions. For example, if you are headed to the beach house or if Mum is working on specific days, write this on the planner.

Add any social events on the planner – even if they are play dates.

Use a colour-coded system for events so that children have more choices.  For example, green events may be events that the kids can choose to go to or not. Orange may be events that you’d really prefer they went to, but they can still opt out if needed. Red are events that they need to attend.