Leaving the Bubble, Take Two

‘The main focus in getting back needs to be what they’re looking forward to, how they can make that a positive, some of the gains they’ve made as well as managing the tricky things,’ Kerri Rhodes says, agreeing that results for most should take a backseat to wellbeing.

‘We need to make sure kids reconnect, that the sense of community at school can be rebuilt and re-established. This is really a test of resilience, for kids to be adaptable, to emerge with the idea they have skills they can use to get through tough things.’

Michael Grose says the same applies to parents who preach resilience to their children, often without any lived experience of the hardship that forges it. ‘It’s important to point out that if we get through this, we’ll have done it together and it will have made us tougher.’

The gains of lockdown may be unexpected, like picking up a new hobby, learning to cook, or becoming closer to siblings. As Michael notes, simply ‘getting off the roundabout’ of whatever was our norm before COVID can be enervating.

Kerri Rhodes saw evidence in the first return to school of the power of arming anxious children with strategies to help their classroom reassimilation. This might extend to arranging a school visit before the official return day, reacquainting with a teacher or two, or even just a practice run of getting up, getting dressed and driving to school.

‘Something that worked well last time, we got students to come up with a plan they completed themselves. What might be warning signs of anxiety? What can they do to calm themselves down? Who would they go and see? Where would they go, a safe space?’

Michael Grose says adopting a ‘neutral cop’ stance when our children vent can be a powerful tool to combat a ‘this is awful, I don’t want to go back’ narrative.

‘Part of your job as a parent is to absorb that, listen to it, but point to the positives. “What did you enjoy about the day?” “What did you get out of it?” “Who’s your favourite teacher?”

‘And don’t expect them to have the same expectations as you … they might find it’s a grind, and you’ve got to be aware of that. Don’t get dragged into that vortex kids will often bring you into. It’s a bit like being a neutral cop, standing back and going, ‘Hmm, yeah, you could be right’, but not being aggressive or dismissive.’

Simply getting back to the rhythm of the school day can be cathartic, with Michael noting the power of routine in bringing a sense of control. He advocates regularly dining as a family, pointing to research that links good mental health in children to families sharing meals.

‘When there’s change happening, I reckon mealtimes are fabulous. It doesn’t allow kids to drop out of the family, and it allows you as a parent to monitor them. And if it works, there’s a lot of yak. It just gives kids a chance to talk.’

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