How to build healthy motivation in your child

Elicit curiosity and encourage exploration. Beyond their basic needs, children are intrinsically motivated by exploration, play, mastery and success – all of which lay the groundwork for meaningful learning. Adults can reinforce these motivations through positive feedback of kids’ natural tendencies, rather than tampering these tendencies by dismissing opportunities to explore, or being overly fearful that children will get hurt – fears that can rub off. Caring adults whom children can trust can help them figure out what to actually be afraid of and avoid. Children from more volatile or abusive environments, perhaps lacking that caring adult influence, might become more highly attuned to avoidance and lose interest in healthy exploration.

High levels of stress and a dearth of positive relationships with adults can affect how children’s brains respond to different tasks. Caring adults can help students develop the motivation systems that will serve them well, long into adulthood.

Don’t rely on incentives. But extrinsic feedback by itself is insufficient to drive motivation – the goal is to help kids develop their own inner fire to learn. Children have been shown to stop engaging in activities of their own accord once they’ve been given a tangible reward for it. ‘Systems focused solely on external rewards and punishments are unlikely to achieve sustained, productive motivation,’ the report’s authors warn; ‘those that balance intrinsically motivating activities – such as creative problem-solving and playful learning – with positive feedback are more likely to support healthy motivation over the long run.’

Remind children that success is possible. We’re unlikely to be motivated to do anything if we think it’s impossible. A growth mindset – the belief that we can change and improve through practice, and that our talents and skills aren’t fixed – enables children to get motivated.  

Prioritise social interaction. From babies to adolescents, social interaction is a key to motivation, releasing natural opioids – dopamine and serotonin – that activate the brain’s reward system. One study showed that babies learned language more quickly through face-to-face interactions with a caregiver than by watching that caregiver on video. In our digital world, apps and screens can be supplements for learning, but in-person interactions remain essential.

Remember that we all have different intrinsic motivators. A child intrinsically motivated to play sports might respond well to constructive criticism from a coach, eager for the internal sense of satisfaction from doing well. But another student might respond more to encouragement and get discouraged by criticism. Be mindful that these different motivation systems may be due to children’s genes and their life experiences, and that they might require different approaches to motivate.

‘Despite the common misperception that some people just naturally have or lack motivation, science shows that the nature of caregiving relationships and opportunities for safe exploration affect the development of these systems – for better or for worse.’

Additional Resources:

• Harvard EdCast: Mindset and Motivation
• All About Motivation
• Intrinsically Motivated
• Growth Mindset and Children’s Health

This post originally appeared on Usable Knowledge, Harvard Graduate School of Education. We thank them for allowing us to republish it on The Parents’ Website.

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